Mindful Monday: Feel the Feel, Then Check the Story
We all experience emotions that we would rather not feel.
Anxiety. Anger. Sadness. Jealousy. Guilt. Fear. Frustration.
When these feelings show up, our first instinct is often to fight them.
"I shouldn't feel this way."
"Why can't I just get over it?"
"I need to stop feeling like this."
But sometimes, the more we fight an emotion, the stronger it seems to become.
We may become frustrated that we're anxious. Angry that we're sad. Ashamed that we're struggling.
And suddenly, we're not just experiencing one difficult emotion, we're experiencing the emotion and fighting ourselves for having it.
The Difference Between Feeling and Fighting
Mindfulness teaches us that emotions are part of being human.
They come and go. They rise and fall. And while some emotions can feel incredibly uncomfortable, having a feeling doesn't mean that something is wrong with you.
Being mindful of your emotions doesn't mean giving in to them or allowing them to control your behaviour.
It means making space to notice what you're feeling without immediately judging it, pushing it away, or reacting impulsively.
Instead of saying:
"I don't want to feel anxious."
You might try:
"I'm noticing that anxiety is here right now."
Instead of:
"I shouldn't be this upset."
Try:
"I'm upset right now, and I'm going to give myself a moment to understand why."
That small shift can create space between you and the emotion.
You are not your anxiety.
You are not your anger.
You are not your sadness.
You are a person experiencing an emotion.
Pause and Get Curious
The next time a difficult emotion shows up, try not to immediately run from it.
Pause.
Take a breath.
And ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
Then notice where you feel that emotion in your body.
Is your chest tight?
Is there a knot in your stomach?
Do you feel tension in your shoulders?
Is your heart racing?
You don't have to fix it immediately.
Simply notice.
Then, with curiosity rather than criticism, ask yourself:
What might this feeling be trying to tell me?
Sometimes our emotions are connected to something happening in the present. Other times, they may be connected to an old experience, fear, belief, or thought pattern that has been triggered.
This is where mindfulness can help us slow down and explore what is really happening.
Feel the Feeling….Then Check the Story
Our emotions are real and valid, but the thoughts and interpretations connected to them are not always the complete picture.
For example, perhaps someone hasn't responded to your text.
You may notice anxiety, hurt, or rejection.
Your mind might immediately create a story:
"They're upset with me."
"I must have done something wrong."
"They don't care about me."
Mindfulness gives you an opportunity to pause and ask:
"What do I actually know right now?"
You can honour the emotion without automatically believing every thought that comes with it.
You might say:
"I'm feeling anxious because I haven't heard from them. That feeling is real. But I don't actually know why they haven't responded."
This isn't about dismissing your feelings or pretending everything is fine.
It's about allowing yourself to feel the emotion while also becoming aware of the story your mind may be creating around it.
Acceptance Doesn't Mean Staying Stuck
Accepting an emotion doesn't mean you have to like it.
It doesn't mean giving up.
And it doesn't mean allowing difficult feelings to take over your life.
Acceptance simply means acknowledging:
"This is what I'm feeling right now."
When we stop spending so much energy fighting the fact that the feeling exists, we can begin to move through it with more awareness and compassion.
From there, we can choose what we want to do next.
Perhaps we need to rest.
Perhaps we need to communicate.
Perhaps we need to set a boundary.
Perhaps we need to challenge an unhelpful thought.
Or perhaps we simply need to sit with the feeling for a little while and remind ourselves:
"This is hard right now, but feelings are temporary. I don't have to fix everything in this moment."
🌿 This Week's Mindful Practice
The next time you notice a difficult emotion, try this:
1. Pause.
Take a slow breath.
2. Name it.
"I'm noticing sadness."
"I'm noticing anxiety."
"I'm noticing anger."
3. Feel it.
Where is it showing up in your body?
4. Get curious.
What triggered this feeling? What thoughts are connected to it?
5. Check your perspective.
What do you actually know? Is your mind making assumptions or focusing on the worst possible outcome?
6. Respond with compassion.
Ask yourself: What do I need right now?
Remember, mindfulness isn't about never experiencing negative emotions.
It's about learning that you can experience them without fighting yourself for being human.
Sometimes the first step toward feeling better isn't forcing yourself to "get over it."
Sometimes, it's taking a breath, allowing yourself to feel what you feel, becoming curious about what is happening beneath the surface, and trusting that you can choose how to respond.
You don't have to push every difficult feeling away. Sometimes, the most mindful thing you can do is simply sit beside it for a moment and say, "I see you. I'm listening." 💚
Until next Monday... feel your feelings, question the story, and remember that you don't have to fight yourself to find your way through. 🌿